After all said, done and thought one thing still stands, the problem is that; is that one thing when tested with fire going to stand?
Hmmmmn October sha; I had a lot of “big deal” disappointments. I don’t know about you but I had to endure this month; I sincerely feel I fell by the way side but entered the express train of GRACE to move on. I once talked about having the Holy Spirit and losing his presence; I also remember saying it could be a very sad feeling ……well I doubt if it’s as bad as losing your inner Joy (I mean the JOY of being the SAVED), well I had that this month (my self-indulgent reason for this month’s post coming late) and believe me I was miserable for the better part of this month.
A very big happy birthday to: ma mere- Mrs K.T. Odumade, aunty Mojisola Ojo, Akinyele Akin-Onifade, Pastor Joe (young disciples international founder), Olufunke Ikuseru (Adegeloye), Adeola Adebiyi (nee Shotade), Wonuola Kadiku. I had a list of things I wanted to write about in this paragraph but I changed my mind, realizing that I am more of a spontaneous person!! How true is it that Gadaffi (not even sure of the spelling sef) has been caught and is dead (got my answer on Aljazeera yesterday)? I want to straighten somethings out here though: this paragraph is strictly about the going-ons of things around me and my candid untamed feelings about whatever I choose to bring up. First I want to say that the removal of fuel subsidy is just another ingenious way to embezzle money! I am really burnt about this o, I’m also sure they will add the resultant increase of pump price to their transport allowance for each top-notch civil servant (arggggh) even though it won’t affect me (when there’s a casting down, there shall be a lifting up at my end) I am just angry with the fact that we are being exploited under our very nose by the people we thought were wise enough to steer the wheel of this country to the right direction after Yaradua (may his soul rest in peace) parked it in the hospital! This country doesn’t seem to understand the theory of correct positioning: when you are well positioned it doesn’t take too many resources to move forward! Phew!!!! I don’t want to turn this month’s entry to a political/economical debate but as an economist I am royally pissed off. We move a lil forward and we get to see the Baba Suwe (as he is popularly known) incident, I have an interesting sense of humor but it is no longer funny. It’s high time we put our foot down and say NO to unlawful detaining of citizens. It is one thing to have a machine hunch it’s another thing for that hunch to produce evidence within 24 hours (ponder on these things).
|Here’s my dance of Joy
|I found out that my default thoughts weren’t praise or worship but BLANKS!!! I mean it would have been better if it was bad thoughts (though none is good) at least I would have known just how to react or prandle (pray-handle) things but with BLANKS I was totally BLANK. I totally understood there and then that bible verse: “……your strength is made perfect in my weakness.” I had to first realize that I was sinking standing on one spot for soo long and I needed help …..BIG TIME!!!
The best and sweetest flowers of Paradise God gives to his people when they are upon their knees. – Thomas Brooks
The road to getting my Joy back may differ from yours but we all have the same starting point- admit or realize that your joy is actually missing, then we ask God for help: the way he will direct you back to where you walked away from your joy may differ but you will definitely get it back.
You want to be real
You want to be emptied inside
(And I know my heart is to feel you near and I know my life is to do your will.)
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday laying it all down before the king
You want to be whole
You want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue, purify your mind
You want to be set free today, laying it all down before the king
“this is my desire, this is my return to be used by you”
The above lyrics were extracted from Jeremy Camp’s song (My desire) because they spoke to me; it was like the words were taken right out of my heart. I want to be able to talk to God the way some ajebo girls talk to their diary (Dear Diary, ……so and so things happened to me…….). it is never too hard to empty yourself (the good, the bad and the ugly) before God (between me and you: *in whispers* it’s just formality, afteral he knows you within and without). In this world where it is one man for himself and everyone is searching for something they don’t even know, having a confidant in whom you are also accountable too is totally COOL!!! i realized that sometimes when we say to our selves “i don’t care”, it’s not because we actually don’t care but because we are too scared to fail (in this context i mean: we care too much). ln some novels they will say: “live a little” i don’t entirrely agree with them so i re-arranged mine and i am saying: “die a little” (never forget that to die to flesh is indeed great gain). I just told everyone that cared to read my utmost desire, please take a break in your boring/overtly interesting life to identify your desire; evaluate yourself (are you working towards it or moon walking away from it?) with that you can know where to stand but as for me: ON CHRIST THE SOLID ROCK I STAND AND ALL OTHER GROUND IS SINKING SAND!!!!
live with the thought that: for the weapons of our warfare are not physical but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds”
It’s my birthday next month and I have my Joy back, I happy I am saved, I am happy I am born again and I am not ashamed to say that I AM A JESUS FREAK!!!! Happy rest of the month my dear readers.