It’s a Monday. January 23, 2017, wow, it’s almost the end of the month. Wasn’t it two mornings ago we shouted Happy New Year? With the New Year came the big list, the strategic plans to achieve everything on the list, a lot of churches started their yearly fast- or are still observing the fast.
There’s something utterly refreshing about new beginnings.
When relocating to another place (mostly physical)– a new office, a new house, a new school; there’s one admirable thing most people do- leave behind the extra baggage, they ensure they travel light for the new beginning. I believe we should do that in our lives as well, by lives I mean our emotions, let’s learn to travel light… remember you are riding on God (travel light my friend).
Looking within, I asked myself what constitutes most of my emotional baggage. The answer was simple and straight forward- it was unforgiveness. Oftentimes when things happen and we are disappointed, we tend to focus all our energy on forgiving the people we feel caused the situation to happen, we neglect one important aspect of the emotional clean house- we forget to forgive ourselves.
In finally moving on from a breakup (I really thought I had moved on until recently), I realised that I had a lot of emotional baggage of unforgiveness with respect to that relationship. I had continuously blamed myself for being so naïve; for not reading the signs on the wall, for allowing myself to be fooled that way, for talking to my friends about everything, I even went as far as blaming myself for the cause of the breakup (I had nothing to do with it in actual fact). My family, friends and colleagues told me it wasn’t my fault, articles told me it wasn’t my fault, God said He had forgiven me, I had the peace that was missing but I just couldn’t forgive myself.
Taemytayo, how could you have let this happen, how could you have allowed yourself trust absolutely, how could you have compromised on God’s standard, how could you have this and that was all that was ringing in my ears when I thought about the relationship that was already dead.
I received a call that taught me an important message about moving on, ensure you look through your closet before setting sail, make sure when you are doing the baggage clean up, you learn to forgive yourself.
Ofcourse you can’t do it yourself, you need the help of the HolySpirit to help you out, unforgiveness is a weakness and do you know what the bible says about weaknesses?
My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9
You see, the HolySpirit isn’t forceful, He won’t come in except you let Him in, what are you dealing with? What unforgiveness is plaguing you? Give yourself a break, let God tend to your wounds, He is the Jehovah Rapha- the healer (physical, emotional and spiritual wounds).
Do you feel you have fallen so low and find it hard to seek for forgiveness both from God and yourself – it’s a trick from the devil.
Come now, and let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be like wool.- Isaiah 1:18 AMPC
The Lord is willing and able to forgive you and you need to forgive yourself as well- afteral your unforgiveness won’t change the past either way, but it will help you move on and avoid future mistakes.
Don’t spend time berating looking back and beating yourself that you are so blind you make the same mistake.
It wasn’t easy, but I finally learnt to forgive myself and I must confess, I feel lighter.
Blessed by this? Identify with self-unforgiveness? Remember to share and leave a comment.