Listen…He Speaks!

This May, 5 years ago, I partook in the assessment centre of the organisation I currently work with. I remember every bit of this assessment centre, not because I got the job, but because of the peculiarity of the event of that day.

I remember when I got the email that I had been shortlisted for the assessment centre, I was excited and afraid. You see, I had applied to a couple of companies, written several recruitment exams, and attended a couple of interviews, but I had been unsuccessful. This time around I was like no more rejection, and this time around I did something different.

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results– Albert Einstein

This time around, I applied the gift of a best friend Jesus left me when He was ascending to Heaven- The HolySpirit. So when I got the email for the assessment centre, I read the mail to the HolySpirit and asked that He takes control from then…He did that!

He directed me to a long time friend who unknown to me was working in the recruitment company, she also loves fashion, she gave me dressing directions. I remember she said, dress the part. I wore a skirt suit with a neck scarf…Hahaha

The HolySpirit directed me to the right group, where I was the group lead, when it was time for the one-on-one interview, the first thing the interviewer said was- I love your look, see me beaming (I’m like HolySpirit, I see you there).

I was asked a particular question, I gave a strange explanation to the scenario painted; I still don’t know where the Solomon kind of answer came (the kind of wisdom King Solomon used to judge who the real mother of the child in the bible was), He gave me the confidence to defend my strange answer, even the interviewer smiled and said that’s different. When I got out, I told my other group members, they had the awkward silence like that’s not the expected answer. Looking back, I remember my mum exclaiming that I had answered it wrongly…indeed He uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise

But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty- 1Corinthians 1:27

When it came to the individual Powerpoint presentation, the examiners were answering the questions for me, helping me out…who does that? That’s how I aced the assessment and got the job!

All through the process, I remember the HolySpirit will tell me- say this, gesticulate like this, look at this person…every seeming unthoughtful action was carefully orchestrated by God!

Pursue a relationship with the HolySpirit, He is as real as the skin on your bones, He speaks, learn to hear Him, don’t take His leading as a fleeting thought, the repercussions are mostly painful. I have had times where I wished I listened and didn’t argue with the HolySpirit. Remember, His ways are higher than ur ways and thoughts higher than our thoughts.

the christian makeupAs humans we have instincts or intuitions that guide our move, as Christians- joint heirs with Jesus Christ, your spirit intertwines with the HolySpirit and your “instincts” gets an Omniscient and Omnipresent boost; it’s always there, you can choose to use it or not…the choice is yours!

I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse; therefore, you shall choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants- Deuteronomy 30:19

Advertisements

Your Support System

The last week in March proved very stressful and challenging for me, I had to push and use up my reserve strength (forgive me, now I’m just coasting).

23eeb-nodoubt

I am currently doing a diploma in Marketing Communications, it’s been an enlightening journey but a very demanding one I must add, it reminded me of how deep I had to dig for Operational Research (OR) back when I was writing my CIPM exams phew! So the deadline for this module was April 1 and as at March 28th I was nowhere near ready to submit my coursework- Marketing & Consumer Behaviour looked like a mountain I wasn’t fit enough to surmount, I was ready to waste the money and defer, didn’t have the emotional strength to start rushing.

So I mentioned this decision to defer to my friends (sister included) and I got the best support system anybody could wish for:

  1. One said you said no, don’t be lazy, you can do it, don’t complicate things, it’s easy, it’s just that you complicate things sometimes. Do the draft, send the work for me to proofread. Your ban on coffee has been lifted burn the night candles, you have it in you, she said I’m not having any of this crap, do your work and rest later!
  2. A friend said to me, you can’t waste money oh, this course you paid in Pounds and with the current situation in Nigeria.
  3. Another said come let’s crack this together what exactly is the problem there, a respected friend of mine said No, Tayo you can do this, she brought materials for me to use (talk about backing her words with actions).
  4. A friend of mine and classmate of mine (who had an idea of the pressure) was like, you can do this TemiTee, where is the challenge, I was too embarrassed to tell her how far behind but did and she pushed me, gave me some tips and quick wins, kept checking on me, it seemed everyone but me believed in me
  5. I dragged my sister (@youngmumsreverie), into this, a pure science professional, took it upon herself to read materials to help with this assignment, she kept apologising for the delay in getting back to me, she even dragged her hubs to help out.

In the midst of this madness, I realised I hadn’t done the first thing I should have done- I hadn’t committed this assignment to God’s hands. So in one of my late nights, I took time out to tell God about my frustrations.

If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.- James 1:5-8

In truth, I wasn’t going to worry my prayers.

So this experience had me thinking, that I have a really solid support system and a God who doesn’t need any form of back-up.

Your support system is your life’s UPS, they are the ones who charge you up when you are down and under and need a boost, who do you surround yourself with?

Are they people who will give you that boost or just drain the rest of your batteries? Are they people who will remind you and guide you to return to the light and the ultimate power source- God. Take a conscious step to surround yourself with the right people today. When the tables are turned, are you someone’s solid support system, do people look to you for that boost when they are low?

Then there’s God, the ULTIMATE light, He alone is responsible for ensuring you don’t breakdown in this race called life. He had outrightly said it:

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.- Matthew 11: 28-30

text 1

I’m glad to inform you that I met the deadline and submitted my assignment.

God Has no MEMORY

This month of March, I have been learning different aspect of God’s grace and I must say its enlightening. Starting with unworthy but not worthless to I ain’t good enough, I am understanding God’s undiluted love for me, now all I can think and say is that God is really patient; i mean, now that I am enlightened, I can just imagine God saying: “enough, you have been forgiven, don’t convict yourself of something I have erased.” That brings me to the focal point of this week’s entry.

My feature writer happens to be my birthday mate, he is one talented writer with a heart after God’s own, I got exposed to his poems first and I was shaken, then when he writes! He really writes, he is a photographic lawyer (don’t take it literally), I mean is a wonderful photographer with a law degree (the whole 10 yards), he tells a story through his lens. His name is (drum roll): ‘laolu Adekanmbi and this is what he has to say about feeling unworthy…………

HEB 10V17 And I will never again remember their sins and their lawless deeds” (International Standard Version).

The first time I spoke these words was sometime last year, I spoke about it again this year. A friend of mine, Gbenga Kuku had shared something profound and without prompt as poets that we both are I had a sympathetic resonance within and I blurted “God has no memory”.

Yes I know, its blasphemy!Sssh! I understand. I know where your arguments are coming from; I have been on that side too.

Particularly in 2012, I couldn’t understand why I would do the very things I had told God, no more!The very things I had cried and judged myself over. I sent myself to prison a few times: the prison of un-forgiveness and self-righteousness.Surreptiously, I slipped into my condemned cell. I had a coded name plate for it, ‘unworthy’.

Oh how I wished I could sing in that cell, you see, I love to worship, but i sat in the darkest corner of my cell. It was dark and dingy, I couldn’t even muster a dirge. I couldn’t speak about my pain, I couldn’t approach the father’s gate for fear of his memory and mine too. I agreed with Mr.Darkman, “if I can remember, HE can also remember more”. When I asked Mr.Darkman if my previous confessions counted, he simply said “NO” and I believed him. I agreed with his fiercest and firmest points. He said: “he doesn’t want you”; repeating his words, I said: “he cannot want me”.

How and why should he want a child like me? A daft prodigal!

That which I do not want to do, I do, I did and may still do, why beg and ask for mercy when I would still stand in the same spot again. So I didn’t ask to continue or do worse, but to be left alone and suffer the memory of standing on the left side of the law. Justice served, I said.

Then when Gbenga spoke those words, I heard this topic: God has no memory, and I began to write the poem which I reproduce here:

“So I forgot

Yesterday what you wept about

Wedging your hands between floods of tears that never stilled

Till you slept

Memory has a way of holding me hostage when the blood carries his voice

So I forgot

Because you screamed for the crimson power

And I lowered the memory of my pain into the sea-blood red

Blood broken red!

Memory fails me forgive me

I cannot remember when I see the blood

And I’m helpless when it cries

What was the story?

What? Why did you cry?

I can only remember the tears

Before the blotting stole your words

What did you say?

Whose memory was it?

I the blood creator

Memory progenitor

Son-father-spirit

Forgot my memory

When you hid in the blood

I forgot

I saw the red broken hands

I forgot

I saw the thorn gating down his head

3 nails, 1 cross

1 tomb, holed hands

And my memory crumbled

Remembering no more the iniquity why you cried.”

For me, I still read this poem as a reminder; I read this poem when Mr.Darkman rouses my mind to my unworthiness. I remind myself he died, and in that grave he fought for my errors yesterday or today. Why should I start another fight?

I put it to him that we have all sinned and come short of his glory, and HE doesn’t want me to stand afar off. I found the greatest joy in Romans 8vs1: there is therefore now no condemnation… I’m ok with these few words, it is enough for me and it is finished. God has no reason not to set me free if I ask in faith, God cannot say no, when I show up at his gate with a letter of mercy with a plea that says I hurt him and with another plea that says: please keep not your holy spirit from me………….